Head Above the Water
by Faisalliot
Summary: Sometimes, it's really hard to keep your head above the water when the weight of the world in on your shoulders. Rin Okumura knows that feeling all too well. In other words, this is another way Suguro and Rin's fight could've gone in the Deep Keep. Bless you, Torako, you scary mother, you. Slight BonRin?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Just a little practice to get myself back into the swing of things...**

A soft _fwoosh_ could be heard as the two left and right candle wicks ignited with brilliant blue flames, flickering earnestly in the chilly night air. Rin stared for a moment or two, frozen with shock whilst Shura gasped in the background.

"I…" Rin murmured before a wide grin broke out on his face. "I DID IT! I DIIIIIIIIID IT! FINALLY!"

Joyously, he shot to his feet, snatching his cat and swung Kuro around, much to the cat's chagrin judging by Kuro yelling at him and spritzing off after he put him down.

"Well, you're finally at the starting line!" Shura cheered, clapping Rin on the back.

Rin balked, almost choking on his own spit. "Starting line?!"

"Yep. You got a long way to go kiddo, and that was just the start."

All of that concentration...was only the beginning? Rin's mind whirled as he thought of all the terrible feats that Shura was sure to force him to do if this was only the start. Dread trickled into his mind and he sweatdropped before shaking his head.

"Aw, frick! Well, at least that's progress?" He meekly said in response.

"Yeah, good job there, you finally did it-" Shura was cut off by a distant rumbling and smoke filtering into the air above.

Her eyes shot up and scanned around, her eyes landing on where the smoke was coming from. Her green eyes widened only a second later as she said to herself, "Oh shit, that's the deep keep."

"The what what?"

"Rin, come with me, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need your brute strength in a second!" Shura yelled, jumping off of the roof with no hesitation and sprinting towards the crumbling building, hopping from rooftop to rooftop.

"Hey, w-wait for me!" Rin yelped, almost falling off the roof in his haste to pursue her retreating back.

The two bolted to the building, almost crashing into a crowd of people accumulating around...Suguro and his dad?

"Wow, Suguro looks pissed." Rin whispered to himself, eying his….friend's tense frame.

"Who's the bald dude?" Shura muttered to Rin, eying the argument that was sure to bubble up, considering Suguro was involved and obviously pretty angry.

"That's Suguro's dad. Hush."

"You're one to tell me that, boy!" Shura smacked Rin on the back of the head and nonetheless shut her mouth.

"The truth...is a secret!" Rin caught Tatsuma sheepishly chuckling, dooming himself with a smile as he rubbed the back of his head. "I can't even tell my own son. It'd be better if I never told you at all, actually!"

Suguro subtly began to tremble with rage. "After all of this...you still won't tell me?"

"Anyway, I must go after Mamushi. Ryuji, listen to your mother and your teachers, and be a good boy, okay?"

'Oh lord,' RIn thought to himself when he practically saw Suguro's already hot head burst into flames as he snapped (figuratively speaking).

"Enough with the caring father act!" Suguro all but yelled.

Rin hardly had a moment to think "oh shit" before the flashback hit.

" _Cut the shit already and save me the pretty speeches! Face it, you're just sick of playing the father role!"_

Rin froze, stiffening entirely, a flash of Shiro's possessed body hovering over him, blood dribbling from his eye sockets appearing in his mind. Shura threw him an odd look when she felt his hand tense.

"Ryuji-"

"No! If you leave without telling me _why_ -"

'Don't say it, don't say it, don't say it, please don't fucking say it…' Rin prayed in his head, because if Suguro did, Rin wouldn't be able to restrain himself. He wasn't going to watch this happen again, happen to another person without doing something.

"-I will no longer recognize you as my father!"

" _Don't EVER pretend to be my father again!"_

The whole world went grey as the room fell into a stunned silence. "Well, gotta go, sorry!" Tatsuma smiled brightly, obviously hurt but trying to hide it. Air rushed around Rin's ears and all of a sudden he was painfully aware of every sound. The rush of air from his lips, the inflation of his lungs, the blood pounding in his veins, his heart hammering...he could hear it all before everything faded into static.

" _Don't EVER pretend to be my father again!"_

Screaming….Screaming...Blood, so much _blood_ …..

" _That boy...is MY son!"_

Why was there so much _blood?_

" _Daddy…"_

Why...was it always his fault? His fault, his fault, it's his fault. It's his mistake.

" _I will no longer recognize you as my father!"_

And suddenly, everything came rushing back. He wasn't collapsed on the monastery floor. He was here, in the Deep Keep, right in front of someone who'd just made the biggest mistake of their life.

Rin didn't know what possessed him to do it, but in an instant he rushed forward and yanked on the back of Tatsuma's robes and whirled him around to face Suguro once more, and as his eyes met with Tatsuma, he saw a flash of Shiro's lazy eyes staring back at him for just a moment.

"Don't you DARE go anywhere yet, you kooky old man! Why are you leaving?! You're his father, aren't you?!"

Tatsuma stared at him with a blank and frightened expression.

"AREN'T YOU?!"

"Y-Yes."

"And Suguro-" Rin whirled to face him, drawing back his fist and- "YOU ASSHOLE!" -punched him without holding back right in the face, barely remembering to repress his flames at the last second so no one would see a flash.

Whilst someone cried his nickname, Suguro flew backwards but almost immediately recovered. "Why, you-!"

"I don't know what the _hell_ has gotten into you, but what you're doing now is something you'll fucking regret! Got it?! I know for a fact your father isn't an abusive shit face who beats you or anything, he's a good goddamn man! Apologize to him immediately!"

Suguro promptly retaliated, venom dripping from every word. "This is none of your business, so shut the fuck up! You have no idea what you're talking about!"

Rin was briefly stunned, the words biting into him and lighting a fire in him, his insides burning. "I _DO_ KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! I KNOW BETTER THAN ANYONE IN THIS FUCKING ROOM! YOU CAN'T DISOWN YOUR FATHER LIKE THIS, YOU JUST CAN'T!"

"AS IF! 'I WANT TO DEFEAT SATAN' MY ASS! GET LOST, AND NEVER COME BACK ALREADY!"

Rin froze, staring at Suguro with wide eyes, the words cutting deep into his mind. "I thought you were pretty cool, but you're actually a fucking douchebag, aren't you?" Rin said, his voice deadly quiet. "GO EAT A BAG OF DICKS!" RIn hurled himself towards Suguro, tackling him.

"RIN!" Shura yelled from somewhere in the background. "CALM YOUR TITS!"

Suguro threw a couple punches, several landing painfully. The two boys wrestled on the ground, Shura inches away from them as they screamed at each other.

"APOLOGIZE RIGHT NOW!"

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I'M SO MAD, IF YOU WERE IN MY SHOES, YOU WOULDN'T _WANT_ TO APOLOGIZE!"

A rough punch landed on Rin's gut, briefly knocking the wind out of him. He nearly forgot to suppress his flames but recovered, throwing himself back at Suguro, blood dripping out of his mouth.

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'D WANT TO DO BECAUSE YOU'RE _WRONG,_ AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE DOING! APOLOGIZE TO HIM BECAUSE IT'LL BE TOO GODDAMN LATE WHEN HE'S _DEAD_!"

"WHY SHOULD I?!"

"BECAUSE I REFUSE-" Rin screamed, roughly rolling the two over and pinning Suguro to the ground and looked him dead in the eyes as he yelled, "-TO LET YOU MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID!"

The room suddenly fell silent, everyone frozen, and both boys staring at each other mutually in shock before a loud yell of-

"BOYS!"

-Rang through the air.

Both Suguro and Rin froze, looking up and to the side to see Torako, of all people, standing before them, face red with anger. "Ryuji, you are much more mature than this!" She yelled. "I expected better from you! And beating up your sweet friend?! How rude can you be!?"

"M-Mom, he started it!" Suguro sputtered, protesting like a six year old who got in trouble in class.

"I don't care! You should know better than to participate in fights anyway! Don't give me that look, I saw you throwing punches! I don't know what I just walked into, but I know that I raised you to behave better than this! You two, go for a walk through the woods, and settle your differences like functioning human beings!" Torako yelled, looking at both boys with disappointment and anger.

"But, mom-" Suguro immediately protested, only to be promptly cut off.

"No buts, boy! Go! I will not tolerate this nasty behavior in my home, much less from you, young man!"

RIn hung his head, embarrassed by his behavior but still fuming. Suguro had no idea what he was doing, the gravity of it all! His father could actually die from this sickness floating around! Some guy was trying to get both of the eyes of the Impure King for some nefarious purpose, one that didn't spell out anything good! For all he knew, both of the eyes had already been stolen and...and maybe the perpetrator was trying to create some freaky disease to kill everyone! These were the goddamn eyes of the Impure King, the very one that killed thousands of people by getting them sick with some plague shit! If Tatsuma were to get sick with whatever the bad guy was cooking up and died, Suguro would have to live with the knowledge that he lost his dad and the last thing he ever said to him was that he basically hated him, and that would eat him alive every fucking day! He'd have to live with the knowledge that his father died thinking Suguro fucking hated his guts! He'd…

'...end up….like me.' Rin finished in his head, sighing to himself, finally acknowledging why he was so mad, and that he was projecting his own issues onto his...not-friend. 'Fuck.'

Suguro grunted in response to his mother and pushed roughly past Rin, grumpily stomping towards the door like a toddler having a tantrum. Rin sullenly followed behind Suguro, both almost startled by his own self-revelation and briefly considering if he should trip Suguro or not. Ultimately deciding not to risk getting the shit kicked out of him (again) by the obviously stewing 16 year old, Rin snagged his and Suguro's jacket on the way out of the door, throwing Suguro's jacket on said boy's head.

Suguro only grumbled lowly and roughly yanked on his jacket, which Rin thought was rather dumb considering he was abusing his own possessions. Why not just push Rin into the bsh of hydrangea flowers in the garden over there? That would be much better than destroying his own items. The walk through the woods was silent and an air of tension thick enough to cut with a butter knife hung over the boys.

"It's drizzling." Rin suddenly blurted, attempting to start a semblance of a conversation only to be silenced by a sharp glare from his partner.

It was true though; it was starting to rain. Rin looked up at the grey, swirling sky and hoped to god that there wouldn't be thunder. He hated thunder, both because it was loud (therefore hurting his ears) and it….well, it kinda scared the hell out of him. Mostly because it was loud though; he was not a fan of loud sounds, hence his burning hatred of air horns as well. Motherfuckers were loud as shit. Suguro suddenly stopped and sighed. Rin halted as well and turned to look at his...buddy.

"What is the fucking point of this? With my luck, you're going to gut me right now and leave my body for the wolves to munch on." Suguro sighed, leaning against a nearby tree. "So, if you're going to do that, get it over with already. I'm sick of your shit."

Now, that got Rin mad. Did Suguro really think so little of Rin that he'd think Rin would just up and murder him?!

"What," Rin growled, suddenly burning with anger, "is your _problem_?! Okay, I'm motherfucking Satan's son! What the fuck do you want me to do about it, huh?! Please, give me a goddamn solution! I don't need this shit from you! It's enough with everyone being scared shitless of me, I don't need you yelling at me either!"

"Not only did you lie for months about who you were, but just in general I'm mad at you! How could you hide something like this from us!? Weren't we supposed to be your friends!? Was anything that ever happened real, or just another fucking lie?!"

Friends? _Friends_?! Oh, no no no! He was not starting this shit again!

"Friends?! We're _obviously_ not friends!" Rin yelled incredulously, abruptly advancing on Suguro and grabbing his collar, yanking him down to Rin's level. "What, already forgotten about screaming in my face about how I could kill people just because of what I am?! Yelling at me for trying to help people!? Bitching about why I'm even at cram school!? If you think that's a friendly thing, then _clearly_ we have a very different fucking concept of what friends are supposed to be!"

"I guess so, because I wouldn't hide the fact that I was demon spawn from people who are training to murder demons! From my friends!"

"It's not like I _HAD A CHOICE!_ " Rin near-screamed, slamming Suguro against a nearby tree.

That shut Suguro right up. Rin's grip loosened on Suguro's collar.

"What do you mean...you didn't have a choice?"

"I was told not to tell you! I mean, what was I supposed to do?! I'm fucking Satan spawn; I'm a damn monster! Was I supposed to walk in, flaunting these freaky demon powers?! I would've been murdered on the spot! Why can't you understand that, you moron!?"

The rain began to pick up, droplets falling in Rin's hair and dripping down his face.

"Fuck this." Rin hung his head, letting go of Suguro's collar, releasing his grip on the boy and no longer pinning him to the tree. "Let's...just keep fucking walking."

Suguro led the way through the woods he obviously knew very well, silent and his face stony. The sky only grew darker and darker and Rin dreaded the sight of lightning, knowing thunder would soon follow. The rain picked up and the wind swirled, blowing leaves all over the place, landing in Rin's hair. The rain pelted the two boys through the canopy of leaves above them, soaking both to the bone.

"Ugh, fuck it, let's turn back and head home." Suguro suddenly growled, his hair breaking free from the gel due to the rain and hanging in his face, obviously to his chagrin.

"Yeah, sure." Rin agreed. "Lead the way."

The walk was going as fine as fine could be considering the circumstances….that is, until Rin's foot got caught on a stray root and he tumbled forward, harshly smacking his head against a rock.

"Smooth, dumbass." Suguro muttered. "Get up."

Rin, slightly dazed by the impact on his head from the rock, scrambled back to his feet, only to sway too far to the right and lose balance once more and nearly fell off a small ledge right into a huge puddle of mud. Thankfully, Suguro caught him in the last second but then in a freak accident, Suguro slipped on the sodden leaves and both boys plummeted face first into the mud below. The rain only fell harder, pelting Rin's back as he laid stock still in the mud. Suguro was the first to recover from the shock of actually falling into the mud and immediately began yelling. Good, he was acting like his usual self, meaning he was probably fine.

"GODDAMMIT!" He roared, sitting up and yanking Rin upwards by his collar. "WHY DO YOU INSIST ON FUCKING UP EVERYTHING YOU DO?! I AM COLD, WET, MUDDY, AND ALONE IN THE FOREST WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING SPAWN OF SATAN! AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!"

Oh hoho... _his_ fault?! What the hell?!

" _My_ fault?! Who was the one who couldn't get his panties out of a twist and yelled at his own father like a disrespectful idiot!?" Rin immediately retaliated, pushing Suguro away from him.

"I wouldn't yell at him if he'd just tell me what the fuck he's doing! Now the right eye's been stolen and lord knows what's going to happen now!"

"Just because he's not telling you shit, that doesn't mean you fucking disown him!" Rin yelled.

He knew how hypocritical his words were but he couldn't help but tell Suguro that. It was stupid and he knew Suguro would regret it. Before he realized what he was doing, Rin snatched a handful of mud and lobbed it right in Suguro's face. The mud landed where targeted and Rin felt a sick sense of satisfaction when it did. Suguro stiffened, starting to shake from both the cold and fury.

"You DICK!" Suguro yelled, grabbing mud himself and haphazardly throwing it at Rin, the mud splattering against Rin's jacket. "This isn't just a one-time situation! It's happened before and I'm SICK OF IT!"

Rin threw mud back. "SO?! YOU'RE A GODDAMN KID, NO ONE TELLS US SHIT BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE ARE!"

"I'm not a child anymore! I'm sixteen!"

"Yes, you are! Not only do you act like you're three, but you're only sixteen! Just accept that you're not going to be told everything because you're young!"

"I don't care! I deserve to be told!"

"Why!? Sometimes things are too serious to be told detail by detail! Face it already! You'll be told sometime but just get over yourself and cut the shit already! Quit being a little bitch about this! What, did daddy hurt your _feelings_?!"

Mud flew left and right, both boys quickly covered. Suguro launched himself at Rin and both boys rolled on the ground, blood and mud flying and the rain pelting both boys.

"You don't understand what you're talking about at all!"

"Yes, I do!" Rin yelled, throwing a punch at Suguro, tears coming to his eyes out of nowhere.

"As if! You're guilty of lying too! About who you are, _what_ you are! You're nothing but one huge lie! You're a monster!"

It was like a switch had flipped. Rin roughly flipped Suguro over and straddled him, pinning him to the ground and hovering over him, his hands pressed into Suguro's shoulders. Unable to move, pinned roughly in the mud, Suguro could do nothing but glare back with all his might despite the cold fury in Rin's eyes freezing him in place.

The tears that had sprang to Rin's eyes burned as he screamed with all his might, _"I NEVER ASKED TO BE THIS WAY!"_

Suguro froze when a tear fell from Rin's eye, landing on his cheek. The two stared at each other in silence, both mutually shocked.

"I…" Rin faltered, opening and closing his mouth with no sound emerging while he looked away. "I never asked to…to be a freak."

Rin hung his head, unable to look Suguro in the eye anymore. He sat up, sitting on Suguro's waist and rubbed his face (which was still quite caked with mud and blood). Shakily standing up, he slowly stumbled over to a large nearby rock and collapsed on it, putting his head in his hands. Suguro cautiously sat up, his back sticky with mud and sat there a minute, processing what had happened. Rin had….had cried, if you could call a single tear 'crying'. It was only now, after the heat of battle, that Suguro realized that Rin was….well, he was kind of right.

"Okumura…?"

No response. Hardly a twitch. The rain continued to pummel both boys, slightly washing away the mud that was caked all over them.

"Are you...okay?"

Rin sniffled and let out an odd sound. Suguro would say it was a chuckle but it sounded far too bitter to be that. More like a scoff.

"Okay? Do I _look_ okay to you?"

Suguro didn't dignify that with a response.

Rin took this as cue to continue and kept on speaking. "No. I haven't been in awhile. I can't keep doing this to myself." Rin muttered in an almost tearful tone.

He scrubbed at his face and said no more.

"Keep...doing _what_ to yourself?"

"Pretending that everything isn't shit. That I'm not fucking up everything I'm doing. That I'm…" He paused, " _fine_ with the way things are, because I'm not. I'm Satan's fucking son. What the hell am I supposed to do about it? I could hardly keep my head above water as it was before you all found out about what I am, but here you all are, drowning me for something I can't even CONTROL!" Rin suddenly yelled, picking up a nearby rock and hurling it, before huffing a breath and slumping forward. "I don't even know why I'm so upset, this is the way it's always been, right? I don't even know why I'm so...so...augh, I don't even know!" Rin threw his hands up and let them fall back down, landing harshly against the rock he was sitting on. "I just want my d-...Shiro." He sniffled, wiping at his face again.

"Who's….Who's Shiro?"

"My _adoptive_ dad, the dude who actually raised my dumb ass."

"Why don't you just...call him or something?" Suguro cautiously replied, inching towards Rin.

The latter slapped his hands onto his lap and whipped around. "Oh yeah, I'll call him," He spat bitterly. "Because it's just so goddamn _easy_ to call the fucking afterlife!"

Suguro drew back and Rin slumped his shoulders, turning back around almost helplessly as he tipped his head towards the sobbing sky.

"Your dad is...dead?"

"It was raining like this on the day of his funeral." Rin said out of the blue, the pouring rain falling against his face, washing away the mud and blood.

"Is that why you were so mad at me earlier?" Suguro pressed on, chancing a step towards Rin.

"That day was when I was given the choice of killing them, letting them kill me, or killing myself."

The words chilled Suguro to the core.

"Who are 'they'?"

"Exorcists."

"A-And what did you do?" Suguro asked, already knowing the answer but wanting to hear it for himself.

Rin paused before he said, "I joined them instead."

A chill ran down Suguro's spine.

He finally got the guts to place his hand on Rin's shoulder. "Looks, It's raining too hard to get back to the Inn without getting lost. I can barely see the ground as it is. I know a place we can take shelter."

"...Okay."

Rin slowly stood up, clearing his throat and slapping his own cheeks. Suguro silently led the way to a small little cave Shima, Konekomaru, and he had found as kids and hung out in when they were bored, mulling over what Rin had said.

" _I NEVER ASKED TO BE THIS WAY!"_

" _No. I haven't been in awhile. I can't keep doing this to myself. Pretending that everything isn't shit. That I'm not fucking up everything I'm doing. That I'm…fine with the way things are, because I'm not. I'm Satan's fucking son. What the hell am I supposed to do about it?"_

" _I….I never asked to...to be a freak."_

" _I could hardly keep my head above water as it was before you all found out about what I am, but here you all are…._

… _. drowning me for something I can't even CONTROL!"_

With every word he thought of, guilt viciously gnawed on Suguro's guts even harder. God, what was he doing? But Rin had hidden that from them all. 'But he didn't have a choice'. Both sides of Suguro were at war as he led Rin to the small cave in auto-pilot, knowing the path well yet still stumbling every now and then due to the darkness creeping on the boys quickly. Dusk had come and gone and both Suguro and Rin could hardly see their feet at this point.

Finally, the mouth of the small cave came into view and Suguro turned to Rin to see him...holding something?

"What are you doing?"

"Grabbing dry-ish wood to attempt to light a fire. It's cold." Rin shortly replied.

The mud had long since washed off them from the rain but that didn't change the fact that both boys were sodden (and getting wetter still) as they stood, Suguro realized with a jolt, shivering from the cold.

"Oh, thanks." Suguro dumbly replied (at least, in Rin's opinion).

Rin didn't reply and simply stiffly strode into the cave. There was a loud clatter, which was presumably Rin throwing the firewood on the stone ground. Cautiously, Suguro entered the cave, seeing Rin staring sullenly at the wood he'd dropped. Rin turned and eyed him for a moment, before turning around and sitting just barely inside the cave, leaning against the wall with his arms and legs crossed, staring into the night. Rin heard Suguro awkwardly pluck two sticks from the ground and set up the rest, probably attempting to start a fire, but he didn't bother to look back at him.

He could hardly believe himself. What was he thinking, telling Suguro all this shit? Why in the hell was he even bothering? This whole situation was ridiculous, absurd, even. He'd pretty much spilled a little of his guts to Suguro (his liver and maybe a kidney or two) and it had only made him feel worse. It was too exhausting, too painful to even think about facing his own problems and insecurities that it was easier to just hide them, but even so, once he had started talking, he'd hardly been able to stop himself. And now he was cold, soaked, miserable, and feeling awfully naked in a tiny cave with Suguro's mahogany eyes burning into his back.

"I'm sorry." Suguro suddenly said quietly.

There were lots of things Suguro could've been sorry about. Sorry for throwing mud at you. Sorry for punching you in the temple. Sorry for being disrespectful and an entitled brat. Sorry for wrestling with you. But even so, Rin knew _exactly_ what he was referring to.

And so, he chuckled, if you could even call it that given how utterly bitter it sounded.

"... _Sorry_?" Rin spat. "You're _sorry_? What, are you going to give me a fruit basket next? _Sorry_ doesn't fix any of this. It doesn't fix that I'm Satan's son or the fact that we're cold, soaked, stranded, and _miserable_ in the middle of the woods because you couldn't hold your tongue around your dad just because he's not telling you everything and you just couldn't accept that adults aren't going to tell a child every little thing." Rin spat, turning to look back at Suguro, who had the decency to look a little sheepish.

"It was just frustrating that he's so secretive and what he's doing could be traitorous!" Suguro weakly tried to defend himself.

Rin dryly looked at Suguro. "I just _know_ when someone's a creep or dangerous. That's just a thing I've got. Let me tell you, I met your dad before all of this shit, helped him cut some watermelon, and it's pretty clear that he's just a kooky alcoholic guy with a lot of secrets. I can tell he's not bad, just a weirdo. Still trying to wrap my head around the fact that he spawned _you_."

How did Rin know that? Because Tatsuma was just like...like Shiro. And Shiro was a good guy, even if he had a lot of secrets in the end. Rin just _knew_ Tatsuma was good, if not, a little foolish. 'I mean, who the hell walks around drunk when they're head priest of a temple?' Rin thought to himself, almost chuckling when he remembered Dad- Shiro -performing a sermon hungover when he and Yukio were around thirteen. Shiro was a fool, but a funny one.

The small smile left Rin's face as soon as it had come, flashes of Shiro's skin warped around his orifices, blood oozing out of his eye sockets, ears, nose, and mouth, eyes closed, chin hair stained red and grazing the wooden floor of his bedroom. His cold, lifeless corpse slumped on the ground, curls of blue flames dissipating, the door to Shiro's bedroom slamming open and then….and then….Rin couldn't remember what had happened next, just that someone had picked him up because he could do nothing more than tremble in his catatonic state, stroking his hair while he cried and tucked him into bed. Ripping himself out of his own memories, Rin slumped against the wall, suddenly exhausted.

"It's just….you don't know what Mamushi was saying about my dad."

"What was she saying?" Rin humored Suguro with a response, staring at the blank stone walls.

"That he was a traitor. That'd he helped Mephisto raise the child of Satan with our main object of worship. Then again, that spawn of Satan is you, but...I can't imagine you having the sword." Suguro replied.

 _The sword._ That got Rin's attention. "What's your...main object of worship? The name?"

"The Kouma sword." Suguro replied. "A demon slaying blade by the name of Kurikara-"

The realization seemed to finally hit Suguro. He'd been so caught up in finding out that Rin was the son of Satan that he'd completely forgotten that'd recognized the sword during Rin's battle with Amaimon.

Rin froze. "I…." Rin began, mouth suddenly dry. "That's _my_ sword."

The cave was silent until… "THAT OLD BASTARD _ACTUALLY_ GAVE MEPHISTO THE SWORD!"

"Okay, but, it's just me. That's not traitorous at all, is it?" Rin said, turning to look at Suguro, who had realization strike him once more and let out a soft "oh".

Suguro remained sullenly silent and Rin continued. "Anyway, he didn't give it to Mephisto. He must've given it to my da- Shiro. To Shiro. He must've given it to Shiro."

"Y'know, it's okay to call Shiro your dad. He raised you, just because you don't share blood, doesn't mean you aren't family."

Rin nearly smiled at that, but everything that had transpired made it pretty hard to. Too much emotion for him to handle in one night.

The cave fell silent again, Rin stewing in his own thoughts.

'So, Suguro thought his dad was being traitorous when it was easily explainable to him considering _I'm_ the spawn of Satan and he must have recognized the sword during my little fight with Amaimon. God, Suguro's dumber than I thought.' He mused to himself. 'How dumb. If he just stopped and thought for a moment, maybe things wouldn't have gotten so fucked up.'

" _Stupid? You can't even run errands! And you fight sloppy too! You've got no knowledge or technique- You just rely on your flame! Use your head more!"_

Rin frowned, staring sullenly out into the dark forest, watching a rabbit scamper into the bushes and bramble, hearing Suguro feebly trying to start a fire and muttering about how cold it was. 'I guess I'm no better than Suguro, anyway. I don't even know why I'm talking, I'm the biggest fool here. Then again, I've always been, haven't I?'

" _Really how can twin brothers be so different?"_

" _Yukio's the younger brother, who's a top student who excels at all sports AND who'll be entering True Cross Academy, a prestigious school as a freshman. And then we have Rin, the older brother who does nothing much else rather than cause trouble. Rin, you should really try to take a cue from Yukio!"_

Rin grit his teeth, remembering Izumi and Kyodo deliberately loudly talking about him like that. 'It always seems to go back to Yukio, doesn't it? Yukio this, Yukio that. Oh, Rin, you should be more like Yukio! Yukio's fucking perfect, why aren't you perfect too? Yukio's so much fucking BETTER than you are!' Rin bitterly thought, huffing and slumping over onto the wall, staring unseeingly out into the night. 'Look at you now, Rin, you're even worse. You're the spawn of Satan and even less like Yukio, given your FREAKY DEMON POWERS THAT YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER!' Rin thought to himself, audibly huffing and rubbing his face.

"You know…" Suguro suddenly said, his voice unexpectedly ringing from nearby.

Rin shifted in his still soaked clothes.

"Everyone's only scared of you because you're related to Satan, if that's what you're huffing about."

 _That's it._

"THAT'S THE THING THOUGH!" Rin suddenly yelled, slamming his hand on the ground and whirling to look at Suguro, who looked very surprised at the sudden outburst. "I'M NOT _SATAN_!"

Blue flames erupted from Rin's body, the dark blue flames angrily lapping at the walls of the cave, seeming to hiss with heat, but as they swept over Suguro, they were only warm and….dried him? The firewood burst into flame, crackling as the flames died down, Suguro shaken by the outburst but...a little relieved that there was a fire going and he was dry.

"I never said that you were-" Suguro began to defend himself, but he was cut off.

"But that's what it is, isn't it?!" Rin continued, staring Suguro dead in the eye, paying no mind to the fact that he had inadvertently started up the fire and dried the boys off.

Suguro fell quiet.

"ISN'T IT?!"

"...Yes."

"And _that's_ what pisses me off so much, okay!? I'm _not_ Satan! I'm not the one who murdered hundreds of people in the blue night, or the one who possesses people and fucking kills them! I'm just a fifteen year old, teenage boy who's only friend is a _cat_ , who has no family besides his twin brother, and who has difficulty dealing with and controlling his own emotions! I might share blood with that fucking demon, but I didn't even _know_ until, like, March, and I only found out like an hour before Shiro was fucking possessed by Satan before my very eyes and _died_ right in front of me and it was _all my fault!_ And y'know what, I've always just been me and now everything's changed, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and now I have a death sentence hanging over my head! And all the while everyone's expecting me to be this scary god hell-bent on destruction when….when all I am is just scared! Scared of who I am and the world around me, because everything changed so fast that I can't keep up! Everyone wants me to just be this infallible being that magically succeeds at fucking everything, but I can't do that!" Rin heaved, staring at Suguro, who was looking more and more shocked with every word. "I...I'm not a God!"

He huffed for breath, staring at Suguro murderously before turning back around and drawing his knees up to his chest.

But, his tirade wasn't quite over yet. "But that's the way it's always been, hasn't it? Be smarter, Rin! Be more courteous! Be kinder! Think before you do things! Be more useful! Stop being so violent! Stop being so worthless! Pay attention! Be more polite! Take more care in your appearance! Wipe the frown off your face and smile more, you look nicer! Work harder! Show more gratitude! Don't be so angry, calm down! It doesn't matter if everyone's calling you a freak, it's okay! Who cares if what we say about you affects you in a negative way, we're just trying to help you! Be more generous, be more gentle! Stop being so rash and brashy! Why can't you be more heroic, helpful, optimistic, energetic?! Why can't you be more like Yu-"

Rin immediately closed his mouth, his jaw snapping with an audible click, freezing. There was no way he was going to say that in front of Suguro, there was no goddamn way. A wave of embarrassment washed over him when he'd realized what he'd been ranting about.

" _Use your head more!"_

'Piss off, Yukio.' Rin sniffed in his head, grunting angrily and moodily leaning against the cave wall, his knees still drawn as tight as a bowstring to his chest. God, what the hell was he doing? This was getting worse by the minute and considering Suguro's stunned eyes were obviously trained on him, Rin wished he'd never spoken at all.

"Like Yukio."

"What?" Rin quietly asked, voice tight as he hoped to god that Suguro hadn't figured out what he was going to yell.

"Why can't you be more like Yukio. That's what you were going to say, right?"

Rin remained silent.

Suguro seemed to take this as confirmation. "Okumura, who the hell told you that?"

Rin didn't respond, but he subtly began to shake as tears suddenly began dripping out of his eyes, falling silently to the ground as Rin suppressed his own sobs as he'd done so many times before.

"In fact, who told you _any_ of that?"

Rin's voice shook as he whispered, "Just about anyone I've ever met, including you."

" _Why's that dude even bothering coming? I wish he'd leave!"_

" _I feel sick to my stomach! I couldn't do that bad if I tried! You're too busy flirting with the girls! You disgust me!"_

" _...A slacker like you doesn't belong here, so beat it!"_

" _What's the spawn of Satan doing at a school for exorcists!?"_

Suguro slumped his shoulders, remembering all the times he'd insulted Rin. He'd never known that Rin would've taken it all to heart. If he'd known, he wouldn't have said a word. Hell, he never should have said something like that in the first place! He'd never known the whole story, and he had the feeling that he still didn't. He was still having trouble processing it all. Rin was a much deeper person than he'd ever expected. Some parts of it all was nagging at him, though.

"You...never knew? About who you were?"

"No one bothered to tell me a damn thing." Rin muttered, wiping furiously as his eyes as the tears still came. "My powers were sealed in my sword, and I was raised as a human until Astaroth tried to burn my eyes out and I burst into my flames despite having not awoken yet. My da- Shiro- came out of nowhere, exorcised him, and dragged me all the way home, blabbering about how I wasn't actually his son. He threw shit at me, including the sword, telling me to 'Never draw it!', saying to run away because he could only raise me while I was still human. I...I freaked out and we got into an argument. I yelled at him to never pretend to be my father again in a fit of anger and he….he slapped me. I deserved it though. But something about that slap changed things, because next thing I knew, he slumped against his bed and Satan awoke within him. He tried to drag me down to Gehenna and nearly succeeded. If Shiro hadn't regained enough control to kill himself and my sword wasn't close enough, I would've never been able to destroy the gate and gotten out with Shiro's body."

"You...You were in the GEHENNA GATE?!"

Rin shook his head, wiping his eyes even harder and looking at the cave ceiling.

"Yeah. I was almost completely submerged, still clinging to his dead body. I was under it all but I grabbed my sword, yanked myself up, and I was forced to sacrifice my humanity and unsheath the sword to save both myself and his body. I'll never forget his dead face, blood dripping from everywhere, skin burned and mutilated, pressed against his bedroom floor, eyes closed. I was...catatonic. Leaned against my sword, staring and sobbing. All I remember after that was the priests bursting into the room, freaking out at the sight before them, and one of them quickly got me out of the room and into bed, stroking my hair until I somehow fell asleep. Pretty shit way to meet your biological father, right?"

"The….priests?"

Rin breathlessly giggled, a small sob accidentally escaping him. "Yeah. Izumi, Kyodo, Maruta, and Nagatomo. Shiro was the head priest. I was raised in a monastery, how ironic is that?" Rin hiccuped, hugging his knees and giving up on wiping his eyes.

"Fuck man...did they...are they the ones who told you all that stuff from before?"

"Only to try to get me to shape up. They didn't mean it to be as hurtful as it was. Men aren't very sensitive, though." Rin sniffed.

"What, is that implying you're a girl?" Suguro lightly joked, inching closer to Rin, avoiding the still blue burning campfire.

"No." Rin muttered, pressing his face into his knees.

To his surprise, a hand was placed on his shoulder, and Rin peeked an eye out to look at Suguro, who looked far less threatening considering the absence of his usual glare and the soft light on his face from the fire. Rin wondered what was making Suguro act like this all of a sudden.

"Just so you know, I don't think...I, uh…. you don't...you don't have to be Yukio. Just, be you, I guess."

Rin couldn't help but smile a bit, even if it was wobbly. "No one's ever...ever said anything like that to me."

"Well, that's shit. And also...I'm sorry. For everything. For treating you like garbage and...and yelling at my dad like that. You thought of Shiro, didn't you?"

Rin nodded, shifting a bit, loosening his grip on his knees.

"That wasn't your fault, you know. He just threw all the information at you, and from the way it sounds like he worded it, it's no wonder you freaked out. I would've too. And, um, if it's any reassurance, I'm sure he died knowing you still loved him."

Rin teared up all over again, his heart hurting, but in a good way. A couple tears dripped out of his eyes, and Suguro drew back at the sight.

"W-Wait, I didn't say something bad, did I?"

Rin shook his head, chuckling breathlessly, "No...I'm just happy. And hurt. Mostly hurt, actually. But happy. Thank you."

"Oh, good." Suguro sighed, crouching down next to Rin. "Sorry, I'm bad at this touchy-feely crap."

Rin half-heartedly slugged Suguro on the shoulder, suddenly very tired. The whole night had been one emotionally draining experience but Rin was glad Suguro wasn't mocking him about it.

"I'm tired." He admitted, rubbing his red eyes, sniffing a bit.

He shivered at the cold night breeze that drifted into the cave, the rain misting onto his face. A flash of lightning made him perk up. He felt himself pale, sitting up and staring at the sky, hoping to god that _it_ wouldn't happen.'Hell no,' Rin thought, 'I've dealt with enough mortification tonight!'

"Wow, that was some crazy lightning, wasn't it?" Suguro hummed, looking out the cave and staring at the sky with an almost impressed expression.

"Y-Yeah." Rin mumbled, staring at the sky, brows creased while he waited for the thunder to crash.

The wind swirled ominously, blowing into the cave and making the fire flicker. And, _it_ began. The sky began to rumble and Rin jumped, covering his ears. Good GOD it was loud! An inkling of fear shot down his spine and he shivered from both the wind and a watered down version of terror. He shrunk in on himself, frowning and wincing, hiding his face in his knees.

"Okumura?" Suguro distantly asked, but Rin's hands were pressed so tightly to his ears that everything sounded muffled.

Suguro said something and grabbed his arms and pulled, trying to remove Rin's hands from his ears, but to no avail. The thunder died down rather quickly, but Rin still didn't budge. A couple minutes passed by, and Rin cautiously lifted his head. Suguro was staring at him looking worried, hands on either knee. Rin looked away, blushing a bit and biting his lip.

"Okumura?"

Rin sheepishly looked at Suguro.

"W-What?"

"Are you...are you scared of thunder?"

"S-So what if I am?" Rin feebly demanded.

"It's...alright. Konekomaru was scared of it too, when we were younger. He thought it was loud. Are you the same way?"

"...Yeah." Rin mumbled in response.

"Good lord, dude. Let's go sit by the fire, it's just going to be louder if you sit up here." Suguro replied, standing up, sitting by the fire, and tapping the ground next to him.

Shakily, Rin stood up and stumbled over to Suguro, awkwardly sitting next to him as he waited for the next flash of lightning. The fire he'd previously created warmed his freezing toes and he scooted a little closer to it. He briefly considered sitting in the fire itself, but he figured that it would probably burn, even if it was his own flames. A flash of white light burst from outside and Rin furrowed his brows, criss crossing his legs tightly and resting his elbows on the opposite hand, leaning his arms against his thighs. He flinched as the thunder roared above, his shoulders tensing as he hunched his head down, but thankfully, the thunder was kind of muffled this time.

"You...gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," Rin muttered, loosely hugging his waist. "I usually just hang out with Kuro whenever there's thunder. Y'know how he can get really big? He kinda just does that and I curl into him."

"That's...kinda cute. Does Yukio join you or…?"

"Nah. He doesn't know that I'm, uh, _alarmed_ by thunder."

"He doesn't know?"

"No," Rin seemed to realize something and swiveled to look at Suguro, "and don't you _dare_ tell him or I will _actually_ gut you and leave your body for the wolves to munch on!"

Suguro held his hands up in mock surrender whilst Rin shook his fist in what was supposed to be threatening, but it really wasn't after Rin jumped and cringed at the flash of lightning behind him, knowing what was to follow.

"D'ya wanna….curl into me or something? Is that comforting to you or something?"

"Are you offering to let me cuddle with you?" Rin awkwardly asked, twisting to properly face Suguro, turning his back to the fire.

"I...I guess?"

"I've never really cuddled with a person before…" Rin trailed off. "Oh, that sounded weird."

"Yeah, yeah it did."

"I can't help it if my people skills aren't the best!"

"Obviously. Just come here, you dork."

"Hey, I'm not a whale penis!"

Suguro threw his head back and laughed, shaking his head at his friend's idiocy. "That's not what I meant."

Rin froze at the sight of a smile on Suguro's face, making an odd face at him. Suguro smiling...looked nice! A weird tingly feeling attacked Rin's guts and it disappeared as quickly as it came, making Rin wonder what the hell that was. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Rin hoped that Suguro would smile more for him. Suguro sobered on his chuckling, but started laughing again at the sight of Rin's slightly befuddled expression. Rin flinching at the distant rumbling of thunder, covering his ears, and glancing outside of the cave wiped the smile off Suguro's face. Suguro frowned a bit and leaned forward, grabbing the front of Rin's jacket and yanked him to the side. Rin yelped as he fell forward and scrambled back into a sitting position. Awkwardly, Rin sat up and stiffly leaned against the stone next to Suguro.

Suguro side and aggravatedly wrapped an arm around Rin's smaller shoulders, pulling a bit to get the moron to lean against him. Rin was frozen entirely, mind screaming, unsure of what to do. Was he too heavy? Should he move his head? Where were his hands supposed to go? His legs? With Kuro, all he did was burrow into the mass of soft fur and sleep while Kuro soaked him with cat spit as if he were a kitten. In Kuro's mind, he probably _was_ a kitten. Kuro was like, 121 years old, and Rin was 15. 'Good God,' Rin thought, 'I really _am_ Kuro's kitten!' a disgusted look grew on his face.

Suguro seemed to notice this and got offended, thinking Rin didn't want to be held by him, and pushed him away. "If you don't want me to touch you, say something, don't just make a damn face!"

Rin, realizing was Suguro had misinterpreted, sat up and frantically waved his hands. "No no no no, not that! You're...okay, it's just...I just realized that I'm basically Kuro's kitten and I don't know how I feel about that."

Suguro stared at Rin with a bewildered expression,frozen in place for about 15 seconds before he began shaking his head back and forth as if stupefied by Rin's conclusion. Second thought, he probably was.

"How," Suguro narrowed his eyes at Rin, furrowing his brows, "on Earth did you come to _that_ conclusion?"

"Well, whenever me and Kuro hang out like this-"

"-Kuro and _I_."

"Shut up. Anyway, whenever Kuro and _I_ hang out like this, I burrow into his fur and sometimes he licks me and soaks me in his slobber like I'm a kitten, because he just likes to lick me, I guess. I dunno, maybe I taste good. Anyway, he's like, 121 years old or some shit, and I'm not even 16 yet so he's literally over a century older than me so I'm basically a baby compared to him. He probably thinks I'm his child or something." Rin explained.

Suguro continued to stare at Rin, completely and utterly baffled. A smile broke out on his face and he laughed again, beyond perplexed at the wild conclusion but acknowledging that it (somewhat) made sense.

"You're so fucking _weird_." Suguro shook his head, rubbing his face and almost coughing out little laughs.

Rin stared in awe at Suguro's smile again but jumped and covered his ears at another rumble of thunder. Suguro sighed, yanking Rin to his chest and wrapped an arm around Rin, muttering something unintelligible. Suguro placed his other hand in Rin's hair and the two just kind of sat there for a minute, the cave suddenly silent. Rin blushed bright red to the tip of his ears, still not knowing what he should do.

"Dude, it feels like I'm snuggled up with a person shaped rock. Chill out, I'm not gonna snap your neck or something."

"If there's one word I never thought you'd say, it'd be 'snuggled'. Considering that that just came out of _your_ mouth, that just sounded beyond freaky. Never say it again." Rin said dryly, hiding his face in the junction of Suguro's neck.

"What the hell am I supposed to say?"

"I dunno, just not that."

"Mhm. Snuggle."

"Stop it."

" _Snuggle_."

"You're doing this on purpose."

"Snuggle. Snuggle, Snuggle, Snuuuuuuuggle."

"I hate you."

"Snuggle."

"I'm ignoring you."

"Snuggle."

"..."

" _Sssnnnuuuggggllleee_!"

"..."

"..."

"...Are you finally done?"

"Snuggle."

"...Fucker-aah!"

Suguro huffed out a laugh, wiping his face and patting Rin's back while he yelped at the sound of thunder. Rin automatically shuffled closer to Suguro and burrowed his face deeper into Suguro neck, who awkwardly stroked his hair, unsure if he should do that or not. Rin leaned to the comforting touch and sighed, nearly whimpering when the thunder crashed again.

"The time between the crashes is getting shorter, the storm's getting closer to us."

Rin just lowly whined in his throat and curled into Suguro, pretending he was Kuro. Suguro rested his cheek against Rin's head, wrapping his arm around Rin a little tighter and deciding that yeah, it was alright to stroke Rin's hair.

"Just a couple hours ago I was beating the shit out of you. How did we get to this?" Rin muttered, jumping as thunder crashed overhead.

"I dunno. Probably pity regarding your mental state on my part. You need to get some damn therapy, man."

"Fuck that."

"I don't understand how you've gotten this far without it. I'd be nutty by now, personally."

A mental image of Suguro in a straight jacket came to mind, smacking his face repetitively on the padded wall and Rin giggled.

"Why in the fuck are you giggling about that?"

"I just thought of something dumb."

"...I'm not gonna ask."

"It's best you don't."

Some time passed before Suguro spoke once more, right when Rin was beginning to doze.

"Y'know, I never took you for such a deep person, Okumura."

"No one ever does. I'm a little offended, though."

The rudeness of Suguro's words finally processed in his mind. "Oh..Oh shit, I didn't- I didn't mean it like that!"

"I know," Rin quietly laughed, sobering a little too fast. "Tell you what, though. It's real hard to keep your head above the water when the weight of the world is on your shoulders."

Suguro didn't know how to respond to that, and just kept quiet.

The thunder rumbled above throughout the night, drafts of swirling, cold night air drifting into the cave and chilled both boys, but the fire warmed them back up. While Rin shook and only seemed to press closer to Suguro, both out of fear and the need of warmth, Suguro simply gently raked his nails up and down Rin's back and stroked his hair. Hours seemed to pass, the storm finally dying down until at last, sleep overcame the both of them, the flickering of the fire accompanying them into rest.

 **Expect about two more chapters. Chapter two is about halfway done.**


	2. Chapter 2

It hardly seemed like a minute had passed before daylight was streaming into the cave and Suguro was awoken by a loud cry of "FOUND THEM!"

"What...the fuck?" Suguro groggily rubbed his eyes, squinting into the light and rubbing the back of his aching neck. "Kinzou, could you shut up?"

A lightish weight in Suguro's arms shifted and burrowed its face into his neck, humming a bit and relaxing once more.

Suguro's heart nearly leapt out of his throat.

He was about to freak the fuck out because 'Holy shit, who in the frickle frackle fuck am I laying with?' when he remembered what had transpired the night before. A wave of relief washed over Suguro, content with the knowledge he wasn't cuddling with a bear or something. Blowing out his breath through his mouth and rubbing his face with his free hand, Suguro giddily chuckled. Rin. It was just Rin.

"Whoa, Bon, you cuddling with that dude who was kickin' the shit outta ya? Are you gay?" Kinzou gaped, several other faces peeking into the cave to get a look.

"Oh for the love of-" Suguro muttered underneath his breath, turning his head to the side to look at Kinzou with a very annoyed face. " _No_. What the hell, Kinzou? Shut your damn mouth before I put my foot in it!"

"Wha's this all about feet 'nd mouths?" Rin sleepily slurred, curling closer to Suguro and nuzzling into his neck.

"Don't worry about it, go back to sleep." Suguro muttered, patting Rin's head and shushing him.

Lord knew he probably needed some good goddamn sleep.

"M'kay…" Rin murmured, and fell lax in Suguro's arms once more.

'He must be pretty wiped out…' Suguro thought to himself. Shaking his head, he gently pried Rin off him, who mumbled something unintelligible and frowned, stood up, and hoisted Rin up onto his back, figuring it was best to not wake him up.

"Get outta the way." Suguro grunted, pushing Kinzou out of the way.

"Why don't you just wake him up?" Shima asked from somewhere off to the side.

"He had a bit of a….harrowing night." Suguro replied, deciding to keep the events under wraps for Rin's sake.

He figured Rin wouldn't want people to know about, well, everything from the night before. Once Rin had gotten started, he hadn't really stopped, but Suguro was kinda glad he told him about it because at least all those internalized feelings were let out.

"What, did you fuck him or something?" Kinzou asked.

Suguro damn near dropped Rin in his haste to pluck up a rock and hurl it at Kinzou. "No! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Just askin'." Kinzou muttered.

"Jeez, you've got no tact at all, do you, Kinzou?" Juuzou chuckled, clapping Suguro on the back. "How'd you two end up holed up in there anyway, Bon?"

"The storm got bad and we couldn't see crap. I remembered this little cave and yeah, it served good shelter." Suguro replied, careful not to let too many details slip.

Someone, who Suguro realized was Konekomaru, poked the bruise on Suguro's cheek. "Is that new?"

"Yeah."

"Did... _he_ give it to you?" Konekomaru whispered, jerking his head in Rin's general direction.

"What do you mean?" Suguro asked, knowing damn well what Konekomaru meant.

" _Him_ , the _Satan Spawn_." Konekomaru whispered, having not caught the underlying dangerous tone in Suguro's voice.

"Just because he's got demon blood, that doesn't make him less of a person. Treat him like it." Suguro curtly replied, pressing forward and ignoring Konekomaru's gasp of shock.

Rin stirred on his shoulder a mumbled something into Suguro's skin.

"What?" Suguro craned his neck to look at him.

Rin tilted his head, rubbing his eyes. "You okay?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Your heart started beating really fast, thought you were scared or something like that." Rin sleepily murmured.

Suguro was confused for a moment or two until he realized that Rin's hand dangled onto his chest from over his shoulder, the back of it just over his heart. "Oh."

Everyone in the vicinity stayed respectfully silent, but Suguro could feel their eyes burning into his back.

"You carrying me back?"

"Yep."

"M'kay. Thanks."

"Whatever, go back to sleep."

"...Okay."

Rin nuzzled into Suguro's neck, sighing softly and slowly dropped off to sleep whilst Kinzou and Juuzou whispered to each other indistinguishably. Little by little, Rin relaxed until he finally dropped back off to sleep, going entirely limp on Suguro's back.

"You can talk now, he fell back asleep."

Shima was the first to speak, which he did so by firing off with, "What the _hell_ happened between you too last night? What, did you make out or something?!"

"No, for fuck's sake. We just...had a bit of a heart-to-heart."

Yeah, that was pretty accurate, if you'd consider Rin just spilling his fucking guts right in front of Suguro a heart-to-heart.

Konekomaru remained silent before he whispered, "You forgive him, don't you?"

"Yes, I do forgive him. And you should get over yourself, too. He's a goddamn person." Suguro grumbled, side-eying his short friend.

"He's going to hurt you! He'll murder you in cold blood! He's a monster, why can't you see that!?" Konekomaru suddenly shouted, stopping in place and yelling at Suguro's back.

"Did he murder me last night?! When he had the perfect chance?!" Suguro turned to look at his friend, fury boiling in him while he remained mindful of Rin sleeping on his back. "He'd have all the excuses in the world! I slipped in the mud! I bashed my head on a rock! We were attacked by wolves! We got separated! I fell in the river and drowned! He would've had the perfect alibi, but he didn't kill me, did he?! Do you need to feel my pulse!? Hear my heartbeat?! Watch me breathe?!"

Konekomaru drew back, not knowing how to respond to what Suguro was saying.

"He hid that...that secret from us for months! How can you believe that everything wasn't just a lie!? That he isn't tricking you!?" Konekomaru regained a grip and fired back.

"How can you just forget that he's half _human_ too!? How did we _all_ forget that!? Just because he shares blood with _him_ , that doesn't mean he's the same!"

"How can you be so sure!? What convinces you of that!?"

Suguro faltered, opening and closing his mouth, unable to form a word because none were coming to mind. An inkling of doubt shot through Suguro's mind, diluting like food dye in water. How _was_ he so sure?

" _Just so you know, I don't think...I, uh…. you don't...you don't have to be Yukio. Just, be you, I guess."_

" _No one's ever...ever said anything like that to me."_

That's right…

" _I've always just been me and now everything's changed, I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, and now I have a death sentence hanging over my head! And all the while everyone's expecting me to be this scary god hell-bent on destruction when….when all I am is just scared! Scared of who I am and the world around me, because everything changed so fast that I can't keep up! Everyone wants me to just be this infallible being that magically succeeds at fucking everything, but I can't do that!"_

There was no way that Rin….

 _"THAT'S THE THING THOUGH! I'M NOT SATAN!"_

 _Who cares if what we say about you affects you in a negative way, we're just trying to help you! Be more generous, be more gentle! Stop being so rash and brashy! Why can't you be more heroic, helpful, optimistic, energetic?! Why can't you be more like Yu-"_

...There was no way that _anyone_ could...

" _Like Yukio."  
_

" _I just want...Shiro."_

" _Who's….Who's Shiro?"_

" _My adoptive dad, the dude who actually raised my dumb ass."_

" _Why don't you just...call him or something?" "Oh yeah, I'll call him, because it's just so goddamn easy to call the fucking afterlife!"_

Could _ever_..

" _And that's what pisses me off so much, okay!? I'm not Satan! I'm not the one who murdered hundreds of people in the blue night, or the one who possesses people and fucking kills them! I'm just a fifteen year old, teenage boy who's only friend is a cat, who has no family besides his twin brother, and who has difficulty dealing with and controlling his own emotions! I might share blood with that fucking demon, but I didn't even know until, like, March, and I only found out like an hour before Shiro was fucking possessed by Satan before my very eyes and died right in front of me and it was all my fault!"_

" _...Drowning me for something I can't even control!"_

" _I NEVER ASKED TO BE THIS WAY! I...I never asked to...to be a freak."_

...Fake something like that.

What….What the _hell_ was he thinking? Of course Rin was sincere. No one was good enough of an actor to fake emotion like that! Suguro's gut clenched, cursing himself for doubting his friend for a moment.

"I'm sure because...he cried. He screamed. He sobbed. He shook. He trembled, even. He laughed. He smiled. He was peaceful. He...was just him. No one can fake emotions like the ones he showed. That he told me about. No one can fabricate a tale like that."

"Wait, hold up. He's...not human?" Kinzou suddenly asked, backing away.

"Yeah. Half-demon and half _human._ " Suguro put emphasis on the word 'human'. "And also probably awake at this point, if my yelling woke him up."

To his surprise, Rin didn't so much as twitch, unless you counted him nosing into Suguro's neck and sighing softly. Suguro admittedly a little surprised; he would've woken up at that point. Then again, Rin was Rin, and Rin was a weirdo.

"Huh, I guess not. He's pretty tuckered out, I suppose." Suguro hummed, turning heel and continuing the walk back home.

"So he's...half human?"

"Yep. Been raised like a full one his whole life. Only found out the demon shit a couple months back."

"A couple months?!"

"Yeah. Could you imagine? Believing you were human your whole life, and suddenly having that all ripped away from you in one go?" Suguro murmured, sending a pointed look at a shell-shocked Konekomaru. "If he's just been faking everything this long, Koneko, I gotta say, I'm impressed with his acting skills. _And_ his perseverance!"

Konekomaru didn't say a word the rest of the walk home.

The second Suguro walked through the door, he was attacked by a kimono-wearing, brown haired blur.

He stumbled backwards and nearly dropped Rin as he squawked out the name of his assailant. "MOM!"

Her soft arms snaked around him in a vice grip as she openly sobbed things akin to "My son! My baby boy, you're okay!" in his neck. Rin jolted awake and slid off of Suguro's back, looking around in a state of confusion. He subtly mouthed the word "what" with furrowed brows until he finally seemed to realize where he was and looked to Suguro, staring at the scene before him and starting to smile.

Suguro dared him to say a word with his eyes as he wrapped his arms around his hysterical mother.

Rin looked down, the slight smile on his face growing a little sad as he turned heel, aiming to return to his room. He didn't have anyone to worry about him. No parent to console. Yukio probably didn't even notice that he was gone. That was just the way Yukio was, he guessed…

...Or so he thought, because the second he slid open the door to his room, a second or two passed before he was attacked by a boy with lots of moles, glasses, and a long coat.

"Y-Yukio?!" He sputtered, pushing away the offending arms wrapped around him.

He was swatted harshly upside the head as Yukio grabbed the collar of his shirt and yanked him forward. "What were you thinking?! Did you two morons even _try_ to get home?! Why are you so irresponsible?! I'm going to die of a heart attack because of you by the time we're 20!"

"S-Sorry?!"

"I'M GOING TO DIE BEFORE YOU AND YOU WILL LIVE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE MISERABLY KNOWING IT WAS YOUR FAULT!"

"Yukio, c-calm down!"

"CALM DOWN? CALM _DOWN_?! I WAS CONVINCED YOU TWO _DIED_ OR SOMETHING! YOU'RE BOTH DUMB ENOUGH!"

"I know! I know! But we're okay! It just got too hard to see, so we took shelter for the night!"

The two brothers stared at each other for a couple minutes, neither sure how to continue. Yukio sighed after a moment, letting go of Rin's shirt.

"Just...stay safe." He muttered, rubbing his face tiredly.

"I will. Now, go lay down, you look exhausted." Rin said quietly, kicking the ground lightly with his head bowed.

"Yeah. For the love of God, don't do anything else crazy."

"I won't! Shoo!"

Yukio strode out of the room and left the door open for a moment. Rin flopped down on his futon, wincing a bit as his head landed harshly against the ground. Something crinkled beneath his pillow, and Rin furrowed his brows, groping under the pillow and pulling out...a letter? It was addressed to him by...oh, it was from Suguro's dad! He went to open it, but before he could so much as prod the paper, a small blur of black launched against him, knocking his elbow from beneath him.

"WAAAAH! Kuro!" Rin shrilly squeaked, startled by the sudden attack.

" _RIN! I WAS SO WORRIED! WHAT HAPPENED?!"_ Kuro yelled, pawing at his face.

"I was just walking in the woods with Suguro and the rain made it too hard to see so we took shelter!"

" _That's the thing though! It was_ _raining_ _and that means thunder! You must've been so scared!"_

Ah. _That's_ was Kuro was worried about. See, Kuro was a great friend! Shura didn't know what she was talking about; there was nothing wrong with your only friend being a cat!

"I was," He admitted, scratching the area just above Kuro's tail. "But Suguro, being the smartass he is, figured out that I was scared of thunder and he helped me out. I'm fine."

" _Do you still wanna cuddle now though? To make up for how I couldn't last night?"_

Rin thought about the night before. Of everything that happened. All the emotional baggage he'd spilled and everything he had had to relive. He yawned, laying down and rubbing his eyes. He was still exhausted. Last night had been pretty stressful.

"Yeah...I'd like that a lot, buddy." Rin murmured. "Do the thing."

" _Okay!"_ Kuro agreed.

There was a poof of gray, and Kuro became gigantic, curling against the floor. Rin rolled over and burrowed into Kuro's soft, black fur and sighed as Kuro licked his head, matting down his hair with slobber.

"Thanks, Kuro." Rin whispered, pressing closer to the cat.

"Wow, you really _are_ his kitten." Suguro's voice rang from nearby.

Rin nearly jumped out of his skin. "JESUS FUCK!"

"Sorry, did I scare you?" Suguro asked, and Rin rolled over to look up at him.

"You nearly scared the hell out of me!"

"Well," Suguro replied,eying Rin's swaying tail, "obviously not entirely."

"Oh, fuck off. Did you need something?"

"Just checking on ya. You are right though, you are his kitten."

" _What's he talking about?"_ Kuro meowed, yawning a bit. _"Does he wanna join us?"_

"He's being dumb, and no, I don't think so."

"What's he asking?"

"If you want to join the snugglefest, which I wouldn't think so." Rin shrugged.

"It's up to you."

"...What?" Rin dumbly asked, unsure if he'd heard correctly.

"We both already lost most of our dignities yesterday, what do I have to lose? Plus, I'm too lazy to walk back to my room."

"...Okay. C'mere, then." Rin numbly replied, scooting closer to Kuro to give Suguro more room on the futon.

Suguro groaned as he laid on the futon, stretching out. "Jeez, everything is aching. Remind me not to sleep on cave floors."

"What, are you, an old man?" Rin joked, peeking an eye at Suguro.

"Shut up-" Suguro began, before cutting himself off at the sound of a crinkling noise.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just...what's this?" Suguro asked, rummaging under the blanket and pulling out a letter that Rin finally realized had been open the whole time.

"Oh, that! I just found that under my pillow. That's from your dad, I think."

"My dad?"

"Yeah, actually. Let's read it together?" Rin offered, pressing the letter into Suguro's hand. "I mean, it's _your_ dad."

"Are you for real?"

"Yeah. No more secrets." Rin replied, tipping over the envelope.

A rather thick letter fell out, resting lightly on the , Rin plucked up the paper and unfurled the thick, folded paper, revealing...what the _fuck_?

"What does it say?" Suguro asked from off to the side, eying Rin's bewildered expression.

"I...have no fucking idea." Rin muttered, squinting one eye.

"Oh, for the love of-" Suguro rolled his eyes. "Give me it. It's probably his cursive script."

"Oh." Rin murmured. "Can you read it outloud, then?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll have to read quietly though."

"Okay, okay. Do the thing."

And so, he began.

"Dear Rin," He recited, "It's a pleasure to be making your acquaintance. I am Tatsuma Suguro, a monk living in Kyoto. I am writing this letter because I must ask an important favor of you."

"Well, fuck. More work for me to do."

"Shut up. Anyway...You must understand why a complete stranger is writing to you, so I will start at the beginning. I'm no good at writing, so please forgive my disorderly account. I will start a short time before you were born. I was still quite young then. My wife became ill while pregnant and grew weaker with each passing day...oh shit, that's probably me in her … anyway, I was beside myself with worry. She had been doing her best to soothe my worries when Yaozo poked in to let me know that Ossama, my father, was calling me. Upon arriving to him, my father reprimanded me for neglecting my duties of protecting our people from the impurities of the right eye."

"Ooh, this sounds like a story book!"

"Dude, shush. I'm reading."

"Oh, sorry."

"From where we left off… he yelled at me to continue praying to Buddha, or he would forsake me, and the worry laying on my back caused me to snap. I yelled at him about how I was praying and had been for seven years, and 15 people had died during that time. I yelled about how Torako was in terrible condition and could hardly take anymore and how I might lose my dear child, and I even questioned whether the sacred fire could save anyone at all. He asked me what I was capable of then, and I balked. In that moment I realized that there really wasn't anything I could. It was in that moment that my father coughed, blood droplets spraying out of his mouth and falling to the white snow and my father continued to fulfill his duties to Myodha even after my mother died and he himself had become sick. As he left, he simply told me to find a stronger bride if Toroka died to provide a heir, and to clear my mind. I was offended, but I was powerless, so I simply accepted his words."

"Wow, your grandpa's a dick."

"He's dead." Suguro deadpanned. "Stop your commentary."

"Hmpf!"

"He's right, I thought. I am the seventeenth in the line of Myodha priests. The monks work tirelessly to preserve that bloodline. I must fulfill my own responsibilities with a clear mind. That will save Toraka, our child, and Myodha. And that was when, from out of the sky, a man fell, completely and utterly destroying the sacred fire. A man emerged from the smoke and rubble, holding our object of worship, the Koma sword, over his shoulder. That was how I met the man who raised you...Shiro Fujimoto."

"HE MET MY DAD?!"

"Shhh! People are going to hear you!"

"He gazed down at us all with his droopy red eyes, and said "I'm taking this", and we all balked at that. That sword had been passed down throughout generations, we worshipped it, and then, smirking as if mocking it all, he claimed he was taking it! We shouted words of protest at him and he listlessly continued, speaking about how it was "empty". Yaozo, being the spitfire he is, leapt into action. He went to attack Shiro but…...he collapsed without Yaozo having to even touch him! We were briefly stunned, until we realize he'd been GRAVELY INJURED THE WHOLE TIME! Even today, the fact that he was still even able to stand baffles me. The monks looked to me for guidance, asking if we should simply throw him down the mountain, but my mind jumped to Torako and I shook my head, deciding to help him instead. He woke up days later (though I suppose he didn't quite realize that) and wondered where he was, so I told what we had done. He seemed surprised, and simply said that it would've been okay if we'd just left him there and asked for a light for his cigarette."

"Dad used to smoke?"

"No, he was smoking a cigarette for fun." Suguro sarcastically replied, shaking his head. "Let me fuckin read."

"Okay, okay!"

"I broke the end of his cigarette and said "More importantly, Fujimoto, is how much you know about Kurikara. Why do you want it?" he simply replied that he didn't know, that he was just following orders from the higher-ups, but...he was pretty sure that they wanted to kill some kid. My blood froze in my veins. Kill...a _child_? My mind jumped to my child still growing within Torako, and though I didn't show it, I saw red. I refused to take care of a man who'd murder a child, and I told him that and I told him to leave as soon as he could. He shrugged and said "Sure, I'll leave, just gimme the Koma sword!". I was stunned. He was still going on about that?! He didn't even know where it was! He said that he could just ransack the place, but that would take too long, so he was just asking. I thought, jeez, this guy's stubborn! I was getting frustrated and I was feeling threatened, seeing as I was still reeling about how he was going to kill a child, so I pulled out a vajra to defend myself. He laughed in my face about it until he began to cough, and I lowered my weapon like a fool, caught off guard."

"Oh my god, that's the most novice mistake you could've made with my dad." Rin shook his head. "Noob."

"Shut. Your. Mouth."

"Fine, chill!"

"I went to assist him when he suddenly yelled the word "SIKE!" (which, to this day, I haven't deciphered the meaning of), and he bolted out the door. I chased after him, my Vajra clattering to the ground and I saw where he was headed; the room where all of our sick people were laying. I tried to prevent him from entering, but he flung the door open before I could so much as get a word out. He looked disgusted with what he saw. He kicked over our makeshift sacred fire in the room, yelling "WHAT IS THIS _CRAP_!?" I froze, staring at the mess he'd made. "Do you know what you've DONE?! If we stop praying to the Buddhas, they will forsake us!" and the words he said next rang in my head. "HAVE YOUR PRAYERS HELPED SO FAR?!". He was right. Our words had done nothing."

"Well, FINALLY he realized that!" Rin shouted. "Good lord, it really took him that long?! Words can't heal people alone!"

"This is my _Dad_ we're talking about, he's always been dumb! Shut up and let me read!"

"Sorry, sorry! Keep going, this is getting juicy!"

"Is this a joke to you?!"

"Nah, humor's the only way I know how to deal with things."

"...Right. Anyway…." Suguro trailed off, turning back to the note and reading once more. "He barked a laugh in my face and told me that I was the kind of person he hated, one who was a coward that simply posed as a saint. He reported that it was too late for prayers, and that we had to immediately remove the toxins from everyone's bodies. I was astounded. He...could help them!? He said he could and started to shout out orders. Bring me radish, onion valeriana, fauriei, calamus, rock salt, and eagle's claw, he shouted! It was astounding, watching him teach everyone to help. I wondered that, if he could help him, what the hell have we been doing all this time? In a matter of hours, everyone was feeling better. The people of our temple were saved! Tears sprung to my eyes when I saw Torako sitting upright on her own, drinking a herbal mixture. She looked over to me, said my name in a voice that wasn't weak nor raspy, and I broke down. I flung myself at her, holding her close and sobbing. She began to cry too, blubbering about how she wasn't sure that she'd make it, and she only cried harder when she was told that her child was fine."

"Oh yay! Happy ending!" Rin cheered.

"Let me finish!"

"Oh, okay."

"I thanked Shiro, telling him that even though I thought he was a bandit, I had misjudged him. He looked mildly offended, before saying "They're two different thing, gimme the sword. I helped all those people, and taught you the treatment, so you owe me". Torako was confused, so I lied, saying that everything was fine, and yanked him outside.I smacked him upside the head, cursing him for making me think he was actually a good person. He laughed at me, rubbing the back of his head, talking about how he really hated guys like me. He told me he wasn't a good person-"

"-LIES!-"

"-and told me that I'd go nowhere if I was afraid of getting my hands dirty. From over his shoulder, I spotted my livid father. Everything happened so quickly. My father yelled at me for helping Shiro, calling him a heretic true cross exorcist, and Shiro bolted. He ordered for Shiro's death, as no one was supposed to know about our sword. I froze, my mind whirling, for the first time, questioning myself. I...would go nowhere if I was afraid to get my hands dirty. And so, I said, Father, you protect the law...but I am different. And I ran to Shiro's aid, my father's shouted echoing behind me. I grabbed the sword and ran to Shiro, shouting his name. He turned to me and in a fit of impulse, I threw the sword to him. Take it, I told him, I'll lead you out. He asked me if I was sure, and I smiled. The whole time, I had known. I told of the time i had once drawn the sword as a child, wanting to see Karura, but I hadn't seen a flame or anything. I had known the whole time. I was through with worshipping that empty shell Karura had left so long ago, and for once, I finally felt like fighting. "I'm gonna kill a kid with this, ya know." He said, but I knew he was lying. "I don't think you can. I can tell," I said. He chuckled at me, and when the shouts of the monks came from behind, I told him to run. "Now we're even", I shouted at his retreating back. He stopped, looked to me and said, "No, now we're allies." and he left."

Suguro lowered the note. "The...sword was empty?"

"Yeah, so what?"

"That...what?"

"Just finish!"

"Y-Yeah...anyway, that's the end of my tale of Shiro. Several months later, the blue night occurred. Father made me the head priest, told me Myodha's secret, and died. And that secret...was truly horrible. After my father died in my arms, Karura emerged from my father's body and appeared before me, introducing himself and that he was a servant of the head of priests of Myo-o-dharani. He asked me to prove my blood and so, I did so, and he was accepted as my new familiar. I asked what he required in return, and he told me that he desired secret. I was told to tell no one….no one of his….h-his…." Suguro stopped at this point, sighing deeply and holding his head in his hands. "Okumura, I can't finish reading this."

"Why not?"

"I...feel like an idiot now. This makes way too much sense."

"What does?"

"Just...finish reading yourself. You'll understand in a second."

Quirking a brow, Rin plucked the letter from Suguro's limp hand and scanned the paper, finding where Suguro had left off before stopping.

" _He told me that I must keep his existence secret to the end of which I had employed him. To be exact, he was born of keeping things secret, hence, he fed on_ _ **lies and suspicion**_ _"_

Rin let out a small "Oh" sound, glancing over to Suguro who still sat with his head in his hands.

" _The truth...is a secret!" Tatsuma sheepishly chuckled, dooming himself with a smile as he rubbed the back of his head. "I can't even tell my own son. It'd be better if I never told you at all, actually!"_

 _Suguro subtly began to tremble with rage. "After all of this...you still won't tell me?"_

'That's why...he's like that. He's realized Karura must've been feeding off him.' Rin thought. 'Okay, I have to finish this…'

" _He told me that, in exchange for those secrets, he would lend me his flame for sealing my enemy…._ _ **The Impure King**_ _the enemy who has slumbered beneath this temple for 150 years. So, yes...truly a horrible secret."_

Rin went numb. Absolutely numb.

The Impure King hadn't been defeated at all. It was still alive and underneath the temple.

With shaking hands, Rin finished the last bit of the letter.

" _Rin, if you've gotten this letter, it means that all I hold dear are in danger. If the eyes of the Impure King are both stolen and returned to him, he will be reborn and all of Kyoto will become a city of death. I will do my best to never allow that to happen, but if it does, I beg of you, defeat it once more! Please, please, Okumura! Use the Koma sword to defeat the Impure King! I know this is an unreasonable and reckless request, and I apologize for that, but if you're anything like the man who raised you, if you have even the slightest charity in your heart, I appeal to it. Save them. Save my son, my wife, my family! You're my only hope, you're the only I believe is strong enough._

 _I am sorry to burden you with this, but I need your help. Thank you for reading this far. - Tatsuma Suguro."_

The letter fell from Rin's hand, landing lightly against the floor. Abruptly, Rin stood up, and grabbed Suguro's shoulder.

"We need to go. _Now_." Rin whispered urgently, pulling up a stumbling Suguro and heading for the door.

"W-What?"

"No time for questions, but you need to get somewhere safe. Kuro, come with me!"

Rin slid open the door to smack right into Shura's left boob. "Oh, hi." He said dubiously, Suguro finally standing up straight behind him, Kuro meowing at his heels.

"Have you read that letter?" Shura asked.

"Yeah. Did you?" Rin asked, eyeing Shura suspiciously.

"Yep, sorry for going through your mail."

Ah. That explained why the letter was already open.

"Shura, the Impure King has awoken again, hasn't it?" Rin urgently asked.

"...How on earth did you know _that_?" Shura bewilderedly asked.

"You wouldn't be here if it hadn't. What happened?"

"Miss Mamushi has returned from her little outing, bearing news that the two eyes had been returned to the king and it's awoken." Shura mocked, before growing serious once more. "I think Juuzo is taking care of her as we speak." Shura reported. "Why are you in such a hurry to leave?"

"I need my sword." Rin demanded, gripping her shoulders.

"Whoa, kid, you're not seriously going to go fight that thing, are you? That letter's nothing but balderdash!" Shura drew back, looking at Rin like he was crazy.

"What choice do I have?!"

"You're just a kid!" Shura argued in return. "I'm not allowed to get you killed yet!"

Rn's brow twitched at the addition of the word "yet" but nonetheless pressed on. "Shura, people will _die_. This whole city will fucking _die! IT WILL LITERALLY BE A CITY OF DEATH_! Can't you see that?!"

"Yes, I can! But you're a kid! _You'll_ die!"

" _You say that as if people are going to care!_ "

Suddenly, silence rang. Shura looked as if she'd been slapped.

" _I_ would care." Two voices said at the same time.

Shura and Suguro connected eyes and nodded at each other. "See, this is what I hate about you. You run around, playing hero and almost killing yourself every time! Let someone else fight for you for once!" Suguro yelled. "Why can't you see that people _want_ you?!"

"Because they never did! I guess _now_ people do, but that doesn't matter now! What matters is that there's no one else in the world with freaky demon powers like mine that can utterly obliterate the Impure King! If you _humans_ fight it, do you have any idea how many casualties there'll be?! I can prevent that! I can stop it! And I'm going to, even if I don't have my sword!"

"And how do you suppose you'll do that?" Shura challenged. "You've got no control over your flames! What's going to happen if you lose control!?"

"I won't!"

"How can you be so sure?!"

"Because this isn't a fucking candle wick! It's a real, _life or death_ battle that I need to fight to save people, because that's all I know how to do! Goddammit, I'll figure it out, with or without my sword!"

Shura stared at him for a minute, just staring with her eyes narrowed. She grit her teeth and chanted something. A pink light appeared on her chest and she withdrew Rin's sword, all but throwing it at him.

"I hate you, kid. Don't fucking die."

"Y-You're not serious, you're not actually letting him do this!" Suguro sputtered in disbelief.

"He's right. He's the strongest we've got when it comes to freaky demon powers. Feel free to hit me if he gets gravely injured or dies, okay?'

"Miss Kirigakure! We've been looking for you, come on!" A voice called from down the hallway.

"Well, that's my cue. Good luck, kid. I'm counting on you. Find your little friends and find Tatsuma. I'm entrusting you with their safety."

Rin nodded at Shura's retreating back as she jogged down the hall.

"You're fucking crazy." Was all Suguro could think to say. "Absolutely insane."

"I know." Rin shot a toothy grin at Suguro. "Rain check on cuddling with Kuro?"

"...Sure…?"

"Alright!"

A couple minutes later found the exwires in a group, everyone staring at Suguro and Rin.

"As far as I know, the Impure King has been reawakened. You guys are going to provide backup while I," Rin stuck a thumb towards himself, "am providing brute strength. First and foremost, we gotta go to Kongo-Shinzan in Rakuhoku and find Suguro's dad. We need to get a little more info out of him and make sure he's alright. Then we merge into battle. Try not to die."

"How encouraging." Izumo blandly said from somewhere to the right and Shiemi giggled, earning a odd look from Konekomaru.

"Wait, how's the Impure King even alive? I thought it was defeated a long time ago!" Shima asked wildly.

"Long story short, that monk dude couldn't defeat it and instead, it was sealed beneath your temple for 150 years. Since the eyes were returned to it, it has awoken once more." Suguro responded.

Shima and Konekomaru gaped at him, eyes wide and mouths opening and closing like fish in an aquarium.

"There's no more time to waste; let's get our asses out there!"

After a bit of sputtering and stumbling, the group of children went careening out into the night, crashing through bushes and bramble, stomping through the forest.

"What the hell is that!?" Shima suddenly sputtered, pointing at a writhing bubbling mass coming out of the mountain.

Good god, Rin could smell it from here!

"That's the Impure King." Konekomaru pushed his glasses up his nose, looking more nervous than Rin thought was physically possible.

"How are we gonna defeat something this huge?! It's the frickin apocalypse!" Shima is waving his arms around like a monkey tripping out on shrooms and Rin considered slapping him when his k'rik nearly took out his eye.

"It's practically a fortress on its own." Suguro's eyebrows are furrowed, face scrunched in concentration.

"Never mind that, we need to keep moving." Rin murmured lowly, his eyes never leaving that writhing mass until he was forced to continue on.

That is, until the sound of Shura's ringtone startled all of them.

"Are all of you stupid kids together?!" Shura huffed, sounding out of breath.

"Yeah, we're all here." Rin reported, barely able to hear her due to all the screaming in the background. "Is something wrong?"

"Good job! Thanks, seriously. No time to explain kiddo, all I need you to do is find Tatsuma! He's gone missing, apparently." Shura nearly yelled over the sound of exorcist battling."No fucking dying allowed!"

Rin hardly had time to protest before he heard the other line click.

"What's going on?" Suguro asked, peering over at Rin.

"We need to find your dad."

"Did something happen to him?" Suguro asked, a note of panic mixed in.

"I dunno. We'll find out." Rin shrugged, struggling to hide the panic crawling in his gut.

Everyone went to keep moving before Izumo's call held them in place.

"Wait, is that him!?"

Not liking the sound of her tone, Rin darted forward quickly only to see Tatsuma collapsed on the ground...the grass below stained red. The world went gray for just a moment and Rin whirled around, slamming his palms over Suguro's eyes so that he wouldn't see. Shiemi caught sight of the scene and slammed a hand over her mouth, darting to Tatsuma's side. A mantra of "fuckfuckfuckfuck" went off in Rin's head.

"Wha- Okumura?! What are you doing, what happened?!" Suguro demanded, batting Rin's hands away from his eyes.

Rin was briefly knocked off balance by one of Suguro's stray swats and Rin's hands fell away from Suguro's eyes. "What's going...on." Suguro froze, staring ahead with wide eyes.

All Suguro could see was his dad lying on his back in the thicket, pale and worryingly still. He started running forward before he processed what he was doing, tripping on roots as he closes the distance between him and his father. Rin's voice echoed in his mind, _Apologize before you can't anymore_. His chest heaved as he scrambled back up off the ground and to his father. His father is covered in blood, and Suguro's mind started to fizzle out, getting overtaken by a haze of panic as he desperately hunted for a pulse, for _anything._

"DAD!" Suguro yelled, panic laced in the cry.

Rin's heart leapt to his throat and swelled with hope when Tatsuma stirred, coughing weakly.

"D-Dad?! You're okay?!"

"Ryuji, is that you?" Tatsuma whispered, weakly opening his eyes. "How am I…?"

Suguro's face broke out into a wide grin and he fell forward, pulling his father into a hug. "Oh shit, I thought you were _dead_." Suguro whispered.

Tatsuma went stiff, shocked that his son was actually hugging him. "I did too." Tatsuma murmured, returning the hug and patting Suguro's back.

Rin smiled softly, turning away as the smile grew sad. He was so relieved that Tatsuma was okay, but...he couldn't help but be a little upset, knowing he'd never feel the relief Suguro must've felt wash over him. For Rin, it was far too late. Shiro was nothing but a skeleton in the ground in the monastery graveyard.

"Dad, what's going on, what happened to you?! Who did this?!" Suguro demanded.

A soft light emerged from somewhere to Tatsuma's side, the form of a small bird materializing.

"Karura? Is that you?" Tatsuma feebly asked, eying the source of light.

The golden bird gently headbutted Tatsuma's side.

"It is! Oh, I thought that heathen had killed you for sure! Did you save me?"

"I did. My secret may have been revealed, but I still have a duty to you as your familiar, and so, with the last remnants of my power, I saved your life."

"You're so much smaller now." Tatsuma commented before coughing once more, spittle and blood flying out as he tried to sit up.

"Don't strain yourself, Tatsuma! My power could only do so much! You are still at just as much risk for death!" Karura scolded, hopping on Tatsuma's chest. "You foolish man!"

"I suppose that explains this weakness I feel." Tatsuma groaned, laying back down before turning to Ryuji. "Is Mamushi alright?"

"She will be." Suguro reported. "From what I can gather, she and Juuzo returned back to the Inn to report the reawakening of the Impure King, and she's being tended to as we speak."

"That's good to hear." Tatsuma slightly nodded, wincing.

"Dad, who did this to you? Tell me." Suguro demanded.

"The man that was with Mamushi. He _ate_ Karura. The most absurd thing I've ever seen!" Tatsuma sighed, scrubbing his face with his hands. "Ryuji, I don't want you to go after him. He has the essence of Karura in his body, I don't think it's _possible_ to kill him. I could never forgive myself if I sent my boy to his death. Please, don't." Tatsuma begged.

Ryuji looked so conflicted for a moment to the point that Rin could almost see the thoughts racing in his head, but he finally sighed, lowering his head. "I won't."

"Promise me."

"Promise."

And suddenly, Tatsuma turned to stare at Rin. Rin's heart leapt to his throat as he stared back into the pools of black, shuffling his feet uncomfortably.

"Rin, did you get my note?" Tatsuma desperately asked, staring up at Rin with wide, pleading eyes.

"I did," Rin nodded, clanking his sword on his back for emphasis. "Your son did too, by default, that is."

Suguro nodded at his dad as confirmation. "I did."

"You…?"

"He couldn't read the cursive. You're lucky I could, or he'd have no clue what you were trying to tell him." Suguro jerked a thumb at Rin. "Everyone else has been vaguely filled in."

Tatsuma looks faintly baffled but seemed to shake it off. "Ryuji, listen to me, it's dangerous here!" He sounded fearful, and Rin realized he wasn't scared for himself, he was scared for his son. "You must leave when you have the chance!"

"Leave?" Suguro choked a laugh. "You think I'm just gonna run and leave a city behind to die?"

"Ryuji, please, just listen-!"

"No, you listen! I'm here to help, and that's what I'm going to do!"

Tatsuma sighed softly, his eyes fluttering closed, and Rin could almost see the poor guy thinking about his situation. Rin couldn't imagine being in his shoes. Here he was, leaning against a tree while a bunch children stared at him, and his son, his beautiful, too young son was going to fight this unbeatable battle, the only chance lying within ANOTHER CHILD WHILE _HIS_ CHILD COULD DIE IN THE NEXT HALF HOUR!

Rin actually felt kinda bad. Feeling conflicted for a second, Rin tilted his head down. God, what was he thinking, leading his friends out to fight a monstrosity like this? They were all a bunch of fucking kids. Except…

"Suguro, I know you want to fight and stuff, but I am essentially a walking weapon. You aren't. I don't want you to get hurt, and neither does your dad." Rin suddenly stepped in. "Your dad is right, you're just a kid. You _all_ are just kids."

"Fuck that!" Rin took a step back when Suguro rounded on him. "You're a fucking person! Was last night not enough proof for you?! And what am I doing, becoming an exorcist, if I'm not going to fight?!" 

The area rang with silence, before Tatsuma huffed a breath.

"It can't be helped, can it? I will teach you how to defeat the Impure King. According to the 'Truth of the Impure King' passed down only to the head priest, the Impure King will grow to the size of the city. Shortly after a great sporangium will form."

"And that's the sporangium? The round thing on its head?" Rin spoke up, eying the rapidly developing bulb.

"Most likely. When that sporangium matures and ruptures, it will release a toxic miasma. It was this that killed those forty thousand people in Kyoto one century and a half ago. This time, the death toll won't be forty thousand. It needs to be prevented."

"That means we just need to defeat it before the thingy ruptures, right?" Shima asked, looking like he wanted to vomit, but also looking hopeful.

Tatsuma heaved a heavy sigh. "It's not that simple. The Impure King's heart, it's only vital part, lies within the sporangium. Fukaku, the priest who sealed the king the first time, had no choice but to split the heart and seal it."

"And those were the eyes, weren't they?" Suguro finished. "In other words…"

"If the sporangium ruptures, we won't be able to get to the heart." Konekomaru finished for him, and Tatsuma nodded at him. 

The only thing Rin could think of was the word 'Fuck'.

"How troublesome." Ryuji sighed, tired before he even had the chance to fight.

"Fifteen years ago I made a contract with Karura to borrow Gouhaen. Gouhaen takes the years a person has lived and converts them into flames, something akin to a great blaze to be let forth at the end of someone's life. I thought I could use it as a trump card, use it against the Impure King. However, the flames I already had, already worth 15 years, merely stopped the King in it's tracks. It did nothing. I don't have much left before it ruptures, and if the sporangium does rupture, the miasma will escape, and Kyoto will fall. Rin, I need you to use the Kurikara and your flames to burn the Impure King's heart to ashes." 

"Tatsuma," Karura's voice suddenly cut in, "You've lost too much blood. You're wounds are healed, but you are still close to death. You can't put up the barrier. If you try, you'll die."

"My life isn't the only one on the line." Tatsuma growled at Karura, and Rin resisted the urge to back away from the sudden change in tone.

"You heard the...bird thing, and you've heard your son." Rin surprised himself by piping up from the side. "Don't forget you've got me too. I'll protect Suguro with my life." Rin solemnly looked at Suguro, knowing that he might have to carry out that promise this time. "You've got my word on that."

"He'll keep that promise," Suguro sighed. "I know he will. Dumbass doesn't know when to quit."

"I never learned when to." Rin joked, flashing Suguro a half-hearted grin.

Suguro smiled faintly in return, before his face grew stony once more. "Dad, please just tell me what I need to do."

"You are Tatsuma's son. The Gouhaen can be passed down through blood." Karura murmured, turning to face Suguro.

"No! You can't do that to him!" Tatsuma lurched in front of Suguro as if to protect him, wincing visibly as he strained himself into a sitting position. "He's a child, you can't drag Ryuji into this!"

"Is it that I'm a child, or that I'm _your_ child?"Suguro suddenly interrupted, looking frustrated. "Don't feed me the bullshit that I'm a kid, because Rin is too, and you want him to fight! You expect him to lay down his life!"

"I swore that I would end this obligation with me! That you wouldn't need to do this!"

"I don't care about that! I care about you! I _need_ you, you can't die here!" Those words stunned Tatsuma into silence. "I heard the goddamn bird! I'm not letting you die!"

"Your son is smarter than you are, Tatsuma." Karura simply stated.

"That's the type of child he is," Tatsuma sighed, "which is why I didn't want to involve him. It can't be helped though, can it? This is our only hope. Very well. If you die, know this, Ryuji. The regret of ever dragging you into this will follow me until the day I die." Tatsuma stared up at his son, looked briefly anguished at the mere thought of losing his son, his beautiful son.

"I will commence with the succession of the Gouhaen." Karura announced, floating gently towards the space between Tatsuma and Suguro.

Everything was silent as Bon stepped up to take his father's mantle, dread hanging in the air. Rin was nervous, more nervous than he'd ever been in his entire life. This was it. Do or die. Waste Suguro's life or make something out of your own. Useful or useless. Fail or succeed. Rin shook himself out of his own thoughts, resisting the urge to slap his own cheeks. He couldn't think of this now, he needed to be strong. Now was not the time for doubts.

"He who is the blood of my current master, Tatsuma Suguro, show proof of your blood." Bon bit hard at his thumb, blood filling in the space his teeth left.

Rin watched the red droplet trickle down the tanned skin, slipping off and splattering against the grass below like shards of glass.

"Indeed, you are the blood of Tatsuma Suguro." Bon's hands were suddenly on fire, _literally_ on fire, the flames spreading quickly down his arms.

"Ryuji Suguro, you have become the new owner of Gouhaen."

"Red flames…" Shima mumbled.

"Ryuji," Tatsuma called from the ground, beckoning him closer with the crook of his finger. "I'll teach you the strongest barrier spell. One that is only passed down between head priests. Come here, my boy." 

Suguro knelt down next to Tatsuma.

*Insert spell here lmao

"Moriyama, Kamiki," Suguro turned to face the girls, his tone pleading, "can you stay and protect him?" The two girls nodded without a second thought.

It's at this point that Suguro took ahold of the reigns, directing their group with ease.

"Shima, Konekomaru. Please go tell Kirigakure-sensei and the rest of the temple what just happened. "

"What about you?" Konekomaru asked worriedly, eyebrows creased and furrowed in both worry and concern.

"I'm going to set up the barrier. It needs to be formed with Shokuchi-in at its center. I need to get as close to the Impure King as possible. As close to the sporangium as possible."

Well, _that_ stopped Konekomaru in his tracks.

"You're saying you're going in there!? That's so reckless!"

"...Bon…" Konekomaru looked completely at a loss for words, which was kind of a given with him, but it was the look on Shima's face that made both Suguro and Rin feel apprehensive.

His face...it's serious, solemn. A look neither Suguro nor Rin had never expected to see on Shima's face, he who was eternally as laid back as physically possible (unless he saw a bug, but that was besides the point).

"Dude, listen. I've always kept my mouth shut and listened to you, mostly because my parents are a pain in the dick, but this's different. You're actually gonna go out there and get fuckin' murked."

"I'm not going to die, Shima."

"Bon, yes, yes you are. Has Okumura's utter lack of self-preservation infected you?! You're going to get yourself KILLED!"

"No, he won't. I'll protect him." Rin stepped in front of Suguro, trying to reassure Konekomaru and Shima.

'And if I fail, like Tatsuma, that regret will follow me to the grave,' He solemnly added in his head.

"Leave it to me, okay Konekomaru?" Rin smiled at the small boy, too young to die in a battle like this, and got a timid nod of approval from the shorter boy.

"I'm not going to lie, I'm scared of you, Okumura. I haven't the faintest idea of what happened between both of you last night. But because of that, Bon seems to trust you now. If he trusts you, I guess I know you're a good guy, and I already know you'd protect Bon with your life. You'd protect all of us with your life; you already have, and I'm sorry I realized that too late.. Don't fail us now. Remember what you said? You're going to learn to control your powers. Go out there, do just that, protect Bon, and save us all."

The words stung a bit, but that was to be expected. He knew that Konekomaru was still wary of him.

"Hey, what about me?!" Shima yelped, indignant.

Rin didn't pay attention to him and instead, focused on the fact that he'd somehow earned Konekomaru's approval, judging by how the boy sprinted off, presumably following Suguro's instructions.

"Hold on! Koneko! Don't regret this later! I'm not gonna listen to you whine!" Shima scrambled to follow Konekomaru, yelling into the woods, leaving the rest of them sitting there.

"I'm leaving my dad to you two, okay?" Suguro turned to pleadingly face the two girls, Shiemi already attempting to treat Tatsuma, happy to be needed.

"Leave it to us!" Shiemi beamed up at Suguro, before asking Nichan for some herb.

"I guess we're off!" Suguro turned swiftly, starting to march into the woods, looking like a war general.

Rin turned to follow, before hearing Tatsuma say one last thing.

"Be careful," His voice sounded quiet, resigned, "I'm sorry. Ryuji, please forgive this worthless father of yours."

"I really…" Suguro began, trailing off. "When I was little, I really liked listening to you chant the sutra," Suguro tilted his head, looking back at Tatsuma from the corner of his eyes, "So, no matter what, please don't die."

Without another word, Suguro pushed on, Rin trailing behind.

Rin pretended not the notice the subtle trembling of Suguro's jaw.

Rin pulled up close to Bon, the two walking side by side. Rin nearly tripped a few times on stray roots, the area suffocatingly quiet. 'It's almost like everyone is already dead,' Rin thought to himself, grimacing at the thought. 'I shouldn't think of that, not now.'

Rin finally looked up and balked at the sheer size of the Impure King. "Holy shit, it looks like a fucking city…" He murmured.

"God fucking fuck, if we don't get there fast, shit's gonna hit the fan." Suguro all but whispered in reply, his eyes crinkling in worry.

"Watch your language." Rin half heartedly scolded.

"...I am actually going to die. I might as well curse while I have the chance." Suguro glared over at Rin.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a branch cracking to the left of them. Tensing, Rin squinted into the darkness, his hand slowly inching towards his sword, just in case.

"RIN!" A loud cry emerged from the bushes, Suguro only hearing a rather loud "MEOW!"

"Oh good God…" Rin nearly facepalmed, but smiled upon hearing his cat.

Rin was pretty sure Kuro was yelling something else, but he was too distracted by the joy of "Hey, my cat's here!" to pick out what the hell those high pitched words are supposed to mean. All Bon could hear was frantic meows and screeches.

"Rin, listen to me! You've got to run away! This mountain is possessed by Sudama's monster!" Finally processed in Rin's head.

Confused, Rin replied with, "You mean the Impure King? Can the mountain itself even be possessed?"

"We're going to go and like, kill it, actually." Rin was pleasantly shocked that Suguro was even taking the time to talk to Kuro, seeing as many only ended up confused.

Kuro, however, did not like that reply, not one bit. "That's crazy! I'm not gonna listen to your stories! Run away, you fools!" Kuro was going _nuts,_ hissing and standing with his back arched, the whole kitten caboodle!

Rin nearly laughed out loud at his own pun, but calmed down, speaking softly in hopes of soothing his angry and frightened familiar as best as possible, given the circumstances. "Someone has to do something, it's dangerous."

"That doesn't mean it has to be both of you stupid kids! Scary demon powers or not, I will drag you with my teeth back home by the back of your shirt! You're stupid! You're an idiot, Rin! Why are you always doing the dangerous stuff?!" Kuro screamed in his ear, briefly dazing the poor boy, swiping at Rin's ankles with his claws.

"Kuro, do you think _humans_ can purify this whole mountain alone? Me and Suguro have a plan."

Kuro was stunned into silence by that, making small, helpless noises before caving. "FINE! Let's all just go ut there and kill ourselves!"

"Let's..?"

"DO YOU REALLY THINK I'M LEAVING YOU ALONE?! It's dangerous, so I'm coming with you, idiot!"!

"Really?"

"OBVIOUSLY! I'm gonna grow really big, and you two are riding on me! I'm not letting you touch that gross gunk-y crap!"

"Ha, you're a great cat!" Rin praised and cooed at Kuro as he grew exponentially in size, baring his teeth and roaring, "Come on, Suguro! Kuro's giving us a ride so we don't have to trek through the Impure King's gunk!"

"A….A ride. Your...very big cat is giving us a ride." Suguro looked positively baffled, his brows furrowed, mouth pressed in a straight line.

"Yeah, 's there a probem?" Rin quirked a brow, nodded at Suguro, hands already together and knees bent, ready to give Suguro a boost up onto the giant cat's back

Seeming to consider his situation, Suguro let out a world-weary sigh, hanging his head and deciding to just fucking go with it, allowing Rin to boost him up. "If I fall or die, I swear to God, I will haunt your ass until the day _you_ die." Suguro clung to Kuro's fur, knuckles already going white.

"You won't fall!" Rin denied, outraged.

"Are you sure about that?"

Rin yanked himself on Kuro's back, resting in the junction between Kuro's head and neck, hugging the soft fur. "If you're that scared, hug my waist. I know how to get a proper grip on Kuro."

"You seem way too familiar with this…"

"I'm not gonna lie, just don't tell Yukio this…" Rin began, lowering his voice as though someone else was nearby. "Sometimes, me 'nd Kuro do this at like, 2 in the morning, jumping around campus. Kuro loves it, and it gives him a chance to get some excersize."

"-Excuse me!?"

"Let's go, Kuro!"

"Yeah!" Kuro yelled back in reply, seeming awfully stoked.

"Wait wait wAIIIIT!"

And off they went, careening through the cold night air along with a series of frenzied screams, courtesy of Suguro.


End file.
